Hangry

I am so damn hungry. And where the hell is my lunch? I put it in the fridge. I put my name on it, just like every day. And where is it? Not in the fridge, that’s for sure. Who the hell steals a pregnant woman’s lunch? I mean —hello!—I’m growing an entire human here! I need my food!

I poke my head into Gerald’s office. “Hey,” I say in my sweetest voice. “I’m looking for my lunch. It’s not where I left it. I’d grab something from the shop downstairs but all Baby will let me eat is potatoes, which is what I brought, and the shop only has—” I stifle a wave of nausea, “—tuna sandwiches. And my heartburn is getting bad again.”

Gerald stares at me with a blank expression. “Uhh … I think Tina might have passed by with a container of mashed potatoes …”

“Tina.”

Of course it was Tina. That poor little receptionist won’t know what’s hit her. I thunder down the hall, my ballon of a belly swaying before me.

There it is: my container sitting on Tina’s desk, half empty.

“Oh Tina,” I call as I approach. “Have you seen my lunch?”

“I’m afraid not, Miss Jameson.”

I flip the container lid so the sticky note with my name is up. “Really? I didn’t realize your name was Becca Jameson too.”

Her fingers stop clacking on the keyboard and she glances at me. “Whoops, seems I took the wrong container. Mine looks just the same and—”

“There’s no other container like this in the fridge. This wasn’t a mistake.”

She gives a sheepish look. “I forgot my own lunch. I was hungry.”

“And of all the other meals you could have taken you took mine. Over buying something from the shop, you took mine. All week.”

“Yeah, well … you know, you just … you just make such good potatoes.”

“Yes. Because it’s all I can stomach right now.” I smile and take my container back, snapping the lid in place. “Now, if you’d be so kind as to pack up your desk and be on your way?”

Her head snaps up, stunned. “What?”

“If you’re not mature enough to bring your own food, then you’re clearly not mature enough for this environment. I’m going to give you a friendly bit of advice for your future.” I lean in and smile. “Don’t take a pregnant woman’s food.”